I woke at 2a.m. tossing and turning....
I would never want Hunter to know I am as anxious about him leaving for scout camp as he is.
This is a kid who loves to sleep...loves his mommy...and loves his home. He is not a fan of sleepovers with friends...he is sort of an "old soul" in many ways.
Last night I prayed over him, and for his week ahead. He had tears in his eyes as I kissed him goodnight, and he said "I am going to miss you so much mommy"
I got weepy too, but held it back. I told him he will have a blast, and reminded him it is 5 days out of his entire life....5 days!
He has never been away from home, without family for 5 days. He did a campout over night with the scouts....1 night, and he was exhausted and so happy to be home....all I could think and wonder is how in the world will he handle 5 days???
So yeah...I am a bit anxious about 5 days without my boy....
they have a schedule, and he has his buddies, and they will be super busy earning badges, and getting dirty, and swimming and just being boys....
He obviously couldnt take his cell phone, but his leader is well aware of our situation, and that Hunter lost his daddy 7 months ago, and that their is anxiety about being away from home. He made it clear Hunter would be able to call me if he needed me for any reason.
So this morning, he is off....
and no tears were shed when we said goodbye...he was with his friends and he was so excited to begin his adventure...
and of course the mom I am...I was the last one standing there, waiting for them to load in the cars, to say my goodbyes....
Friday night camp ends with dinner and ceremonies...however I will be picking Hunter up early, after breakfast, and then bring him home to shower and get clean clothes, and then I have to meet my brother and his fiance, where they are taking Hunter and Hailey to Sunnyside WA, to hang on the farm and lake for the weekend.....
So it is just me and little H next weekend...
and my good friend from Lake Chelan may trek up here to hang out with me for a girls weekend. Although I am a little worried....I have trouble keeping up with that girl! :)
Hudson.....sweet Hudson is holding his own. We make no progress, but we are sort of just in this holding pattern. I won't complain. We have managed to stay out of the hospital for 2 months now, which is a wonderful thing. His seizures remain daily...some days are worse than others, but he is having far less than he was a year ago. He remains gunky, and I still go nowhere without his suctioning equipment.
He has ESY this summer for P.T. so he goes in clinic once a week and then his school PT comes to the house once a week.
He is such a trooper...
I have been really insanely busy with house stuff...making changes that really disrupt life....Hudson gets pushed aside often as I get wrapped up in things around here. He is always so good...not demanding....such an angel....I am truly blessed. I know he could be way more difficlut, and needy....and he is just not. Being a single parent to 3, and one sick child....I could go out of my mind....but my kids are pretty amazing,and I feel very lucky.
I had some workers in my home last week, and when they were done with their job, they left saying that they are in many homes, and see many kids, and they thought my kids were the most well behaved, well mannered kids they had seen. What a compliment!!!
For the most part they are....but they do have their moments, especially the sibling bickering....
but I was pretty proud to hear such an observation....I guess I am doing something right! :)
Many times I second guess how I am doing, given all the trials and circumstances...I feel spread so thin...I am pulled in so many directions...I worry I don't give the kids enough of my time, I worry about Hudson getting pushed aside, or the other 2 getting pushed aside because of Hudsons needs. It is all such a balancing act, and at times can feel like too much for one person to have to balance...
but when someone compliments my kids, especially strangers....it boosts my mom confidence a bit.
Love my kids, I pray for them, and pray God directs me on how to mother well.
I will take prayers for this upcoming week....that Hunter has a blast at camp, and my worries and fears subside...I am trusting in the Lord to bring me peace.
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It's 10:30ish, and a sobbing Hunter just called me and says he can't bare the thought of spending another night away from home, which means i will pick him up tomorrow. I should have known not to attemp this...but had to let him try.
My heart breaks for my boy tonight....bless his heart.
