It is a Thanksgiving tradition in our family, to go around the table, and say what you are thankful for as you light your individual candle. We have done this for as long as I can remember, back when I was a young kid, and since my mom has Thanksgiving every year, the tradition continues. I used to love the idea, and it is always looks so pretty when the table is glowing with everyone's individual candle representing their Thanksgiving sentiments.
Since Hudson's illness, I struggle a bit more, with having to muster up being thankful, because there is nothing felt to be thankful for when you look into the eyes of your very sick child who seizes daily, eats through a tube, and has an incurable disease...holidays seem to be a reminder of the negative...Hudson has no idea what these holidays are or mean. He doesn't know the excitement of being a 2 year old and eating turkey and playing with his siblings, he has no clue who Santa is, or presents, or all the festivities going on around him. I still call him a *baby* because to me he is just that, and nowhere near a 21/2 year old which is all very hard to swallow.
Yes, I have things to be thankful for...it is just having a sick child puts a huge damper on all of it, because some of my prayers, that never seem to get answered, have always been for him to stop seizing, to see him sit on his own, to hear a giggle, to hear him utter the words "mamma." The amount of gratitude I would carry in my heart, if any of those prayers were answered, would be endless.
Life has been heavy lately, really heavy...and the holidays can sometimes weigh me down that much more. I use Hunter and Hailey to get me out of my funk, I try and see things through their eyes, which helps me, because as I have said before, in spite of me being mommy to a very sick child, I am mommy to 2 healthy, vibrant, holiday loving kids...I don't want to let them down. They are good therapy for me!
So with Thanksgiving being tomorrow, I will post my list of thanks today, because it will be a busy day with family.
I am thankful this year for...
* A hard working husband who provides for his family and allows me to stay home and care for our kids
* The strength Hudson has shown in overcoming the flu, in a disease that zaps him of all strength and energy...praise God he is here!
*Hunter who has the biggest heart I have ever known a 8 year old boy to have
* Hailey, who is just plain sassy and smart and makes me laugh with the silly things she says
* My mom, who carries a deep, deep love for Hudson and helps relieve the burden of having a sick child.
* My brother, who can make me feel like a kid again, and always gives me the *honest* truth, whether I want to hear it or not!
* My *true* friends, who have never left my side, and have been there in so many ways, for me and my family.
* My blogging buds, most whom I have never met, who make this journey more bearable... I am honored to be among you, and shouldering this journey and our experiences side by side. Our situations may all be a bit different, but we are all parents who tirelessly love our kids as we know the pain of having a sick child.
* God...for holding on to me, in spite of all my fears and failures, and walking with me when I feel so alone. I may have lost my earthly father at age 3, but I am grateful to know the love of a Father that never leaves me.
Wishing and praying for all who read...a blessed Thanksgiving Day to you and your families.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Baking + Me = DISASTER!
With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I thought I would be creative, and crafty and try my hand at making Pumpkin Fudge. Sounds good/different right?
I had this grand idea that I would make this unique fudge, package it in these cute autumn leave boxes, kind of like Chinese food boxes, that I saw at Hallmark, and send them with the kids to give to their teachers tomorrow, on their last day of school before Thanksgiving.
On Sunday, the kids and I ran to the store to get all the ingredients...it had pumpkin in it, pumpkin pie spice, sugar, whipped marshmallow, white chocolate chips...sounds like a winner huh? Hailey had fun stirring and pouring and measuring. I even made candied walnuts to place on top of each piece...so it wasn't until I was waiting for the fudge to cool that I noticed a problem...the problem was the fudge never really set, it was the mushiest fudge I had ever seen! So I put in the fridge overnight and it seemed better this morning,I was able to cut a few squares, but as it started hitting room temp, it was turning soft again. I made 2 pans of this!!! What was I thinking??? I don't bake, in fact I can't bake...except for my signature chocolate bars I only make at Christmas, I have that one down, but other than that I bake from a box, and a can of frosting...that is my idea of baking.
So, I called my mom over, to get her opinion, to see if they were as bad as I thought, and yeah, she confirmed, I suck at baking...she tried rolling it in a ball...to see if we could turn in into a truffle or something, and rolled it in the walnuts crushed...no good...except for a good laugh between the two of us...all that work and I tossed 2 pans of Pumpkin Fudge in the garbage.
When Paul came home and saw fall candles wrapped in cellophane with sparkly leaf ornaments, he wanted to know what they were for, and I told him they were replacing the fudge that I had made for the teachers, and my husband, who has a HUGE sweet tooth, said "yeah, it was kinda mushy fudge!" That was all the confirmation I needed...I am so happy I dumped it.
Next time I think about being a baker, I will find this post, and remind myself to stick to cooking...I love to cook...and "buy" the baked goods instead!
I had this grand idea that I would make this unique fudge, package it in these cute autumn leave boxes, kind of like Chinese food boxes, that I saw at Hallmark, and send them with the kids to give to their teachers tomorrow, on their last day of school before Thanksgiving.
On Sunday, the kids and I ran to the store to get all the ingredients...it had pumpkin in it, pumpkin pie spice, sugar, whipped marshmallow, white chocolate chips...sounds like a winner huh? Hailey had fun stirring and pouring and measuring. I even made candied walnuts to place on top of each piece...so it wasn't until I was waiting for the fudge to cool that I noticed a problem...the problem was the fudge never really set, it was the mushiest fudge I had ever seen! So I put in the fridge overnight and it seemed better this morning,I was able to cut a few squares, but as it started hitting room temp, it was turning soft again. I made 2 pans of this!!! What was I thinking??? I don't bake, in fact I can't bake...except for my signature chocolate bars I only make at Christmas, I have that one down, but other than that I bake from a box, and a can of frosting...that is my idea of baking.
So, I called my mom over, to get her opinion, to see if they were as bad as I thought, and yeah, she confirmed, I suck at baking...she tried rolling it in a ball...to see if we could turn in into a truffle or something, and rolled it in the walnuts crushed...no good...except for a good laugh between the two of us...all that work and I tossed 2 pans of Pumpkin Fudge in the garbage.
When Paul came home and saw fall candles wrapped in cellophane with sparkly leaf ornaments, he wanted to know what they were for, and I told him they were replacing the fudge that I had made for the teachers, and my husband, who has a HUGE sweet tooth, said "yeah, it was kinda mushy fudge!" That was all the confirmation I needed...I am so happy I dumped it.
Next time I think about being a baker, I will find this post, and remind myself to stick to cooking...I love to cook...and "buy" the baked goods instead!
Friday, November 20, 2009
The other special guy in my life...
Hunter...love, love, love this kid...my first born...I couldn't imagine I could love anything more, or to that capacity, when he came in to my life...and then I had Hailey...then Hudson...and there was enough love...that same kind of love, for all three...my heart just grew bigger, and I love them all for their unique and special ways.
Today, I want to honor Hunter, because I am so very proud of him. Many times he has checked out this blog, seen Hudson's pics, video clips, etc. He has asked me if he could have his own blog, and post videos...of himself... skateboarding...because he is certain he is the next Tony Hawk! He has asked me to post a video to this blog...of him...skateboarding...or doing something, because he thinks it would be cool to see himself on the computer, in a video....or maybe he would like the same kind of attention Hudson gets.
To know Hunter, is to know a boy who wears his heart on his sleeve, he is a kind and sensitive soul, and most importantly he loves Jesus. Yes, he is a typical rough and tough boy who loves his WII, Nintendo DS, Le egos... if you were a fly on our wall, you would hear Hunter squabble with Hailey, get too rough with her, and sometimes bring her to tears...but she can also antagonize him...there are 2 sides to every story, and they have a typical bro/sis relationship. All in all, they couldn't live without one another...and even though they have bunk beds...Hailey crawls into Hunters bed every night and he lets her :)
A little background.....
The year Hunter started Kindergarten, was the year we found ourselves consumed with the reality that Hudson was a very sick baby, in fact it all happened in Sept. '07, right when he started school, that is when the seizures began, the beginning of this never ending saga. Imagine dealing with all of the unknown of Hudson, at the very beginning stages of his illness, and then hearing from your sons K teacher that your son is struggling, and she is concerned...I mean we are talking Kindergarten people...how hard is that work? I couldn't believe I was having to deal with both of these at the same time. Hudson was my first concern...getting him well...because at the time, I thought we would, and life would go back to normal...little did I know life and normal would never reacquaint.
In short, I had the public school district run Hunter through all the testing, in every area, and they did not see any learning disabilities, or any major issues...he did not qualify for any services. I was relieved. I did get him P.T. and O.T. services after having Hudson's therapists do an eval. and they felt he could use some core strengthening. In the last 2 years we have seen huge changes in Hunter, his work, and his confidence in himself. For a long time I blamed myself and still do ...Hunter needed me at a time when he was going to a new school, new friends, longer days, and I was consumed by his baby brother. I felt absent from what was going on his school life...I was absent...I spent many week in the hospital, and much time running for tests and trying to figure out why Hudson was seizing...I look back and realize just how absent I was...and for Hunter, I am so sorry for that. Hunter needed me too. He was brand new to the real school life- Guilt. I never want Hunter (or Hailey) to feel like Hudson is more special because of an illness, or because I have a blog for him...I worry that they may get the wrong message...all three of them are equally amazing, special and unique, they must know that.
Today.....
Hunter is doing amazing in school. He has a teacher who has very high standards and expectations set for her students, in all areas of academics. She is orderly, and runs a "tight ship." In the beginning I was worried how Hunter would handle this....boy, was I wrong...she has been a blessing. The first quarter of school ended and we had conferences this week. His teacher had wonderful things to say about him. For me it is not just about his grades...don't get me wrong, it is wonderful to see him doing so well as it reflects in his grades, but to hear how hard he works in class, how he is proud of himself and the work he is doing, how she loves to hear him read aloud because he uses so much expression, how he takes pride...I am so proud of him...he is working so hard...he is not one of those kids where it comes easy or natural to be an "A" student...he is striving to do his best...which is all I can ask. To be recognized, by a teacher who is known to set a tough standard, it says alot about Hunter's achievements.
The awards ceremony on Wednesday, brought Hunter up on stage, he was honored with the Seal of Distinction Award by his teacher. Miss Hailey got an award too, for Art.
One thing I love about Hunter is he is very humble...today he told me his teacher told the class how Hunter is a "lefty" and that writing cursive can be trickier to learn and she is so proud at how well he is doing and applauded him for it. I asked him how that made him feel, because he should be proud of himself, and he told me he was proud but he was worried how it made the kids in his class feel. That is just Hunter. He also told me his 1st grade teacher left a note on his desk this morning, telling him how proud she is of him, and to keep up the good work...so cool, so encouraging.
I volunteer on Thursdays, in both classes, and when I was ready to head home, I ran into the cafeteria to say goodbye to the kids and found them, both of them, eating lunch with the principal, among other award recipients.
LOVE those 2 faces!!!!
(I think Hunter would love to read any comments you may have for him in the "comment" section...thanks! :) )
Hunter, this is for you...I am so super proud of you and to be called your mom is a honor and a blessing. You are a wonderful person and son, and I pray you stay as loving, sweet and caring as you are today, and that you always stay close in your relationship with Jesus. Continue to work hard in school, do your very best, be kind to friends and classmates,be humble, and respect your teachers and elders and remember... no matter what you do,in all you do,do it for the glory of God and let your daily life, whether in school, sports, home, friendships... be an act of worship. He will shine through you, and you will bless those around you!
Love you... far beyond the stars....Mommy.
Today, I want to honor Hunter, because I am so very proud of him. Many times he has checked out this blog, seen Hudson's pics, video clips, etc. He has asked me if he could have his own blog, and post videos...of himself... skateboarding...because he is certain he is the next Tony Hawk! He has asked me to post a video to this blog...of him...skateboarding...or doing something, because he thinks it would be cool to see himself on the computer, in a video....or maybe he would like the same kind of attention Hudson gets.
To know Hunter, is to know a boy who wears his heart on his sleeve, he is a kind and sensitive soul, and most importantly he loves Jesus. Yes, he is a typical rough and tough boy who loves his WII, Nintendo DS, Le egos... if you were a fly on our wall, you would hear Hunter squabble with Hailey, get too rough with her, and sometimes bring her to tears...but she can also antagonize him...there are 2 sides to every story, and they have a typical bro/sis relationship. All in all, they couldn't live without one another...and even though they have bunk beds...Hailey crawls into Hunters bed every night and he lets her :)
A little background.....
The year Hunter started Kindergarten, was the year we found ourselves consumed with the reality that Hudson was a very sick baby, in fact it all happened in Sept. '07, right when he started school, that is when the seizures began, the beginning of this never ending saga. Imagine dealing with all of the unknown of Hudson, at the very beginning stages of his illness, and then hearing from your sons K teacher that your son is struggling, and she is concerned...I mean we are talking Kindergarten people...how hard is that work? I couldn't believe I was having to deal with both of these at the same time. Hudson was my first concern...getting him well...because at the time, I thought we would, and life would go back to normal...little did I know life and normal would never reacquaint.
In short, I had the public school district run Hunter through all the testing, in every area, and they did not see any learning disabilities, or any major issues...he did not qualify for any services. I was relieved. I did get him P.T. and O.T. services after having Hudson's therapists do an eval. and they felt he could use some core strengthening. In the last 2 years we have seen huge changes in Hunter, his work, and his confidence in himself. For a long time I blamed myself and still do ...Hunter needed me at a time when he was going to a new school, new friends, longer days, and I was consumed by his baby brother. I felt absent from what was going on his school life...I was absent...I spent many week in the hospital, and much time running for tests and trying to figure out why Hudson was seizing...I look back and realize just how absent I was...and for Hunter, I am so sorry for that. Hunter needed me too. He was brand new to the real school life- Guilt. I never want Hunter (or Hailey) to feel like Hudson is more special because of an illness, or because I have a blog for him...I worry that they may get the wrong message...all three of them are equally amazing, special and unique, they must know that.
Today.....
Hunter is doing amazing in school. He has a teacher who has very high standards and expectations set for her students, in all areas of academics. She is orderly, and runs a "tight ship." In the beginning I was worried how Hunter would handle this....boy, was I wrong...she has been a blessing. The first quarter of school ended and we had conferences this week. His teacher had wonderful things to say about him. For me it is not just about his grades...don't get me wrong, it is wonderful to see him doing so well as it reflects in his grades, but to hear how hard he works in class, how he is proud of himself and the work he is doing, how she loves to hear him read aloud because he uses so much expression, how he takes pride...I am so proud of him...he is working so hard...he is not one of those kids where it comes easy or natural to be an "A" student...he is striving to do his best...which is all I can ask. To be recognized, by a teacher who is known to set a tough standard, it says alot about Hunter's achievements.
The awards ceremony on Wednesday, brought Hunter up on stage, he was honored with the Seal of Distinction Award by his teacher. Miss Hailey got an award too, for Art.
One thing I love about Hunter is he is very humble...today he told me his teacher told the class how Hunter is a "lefty" and that writing cursive can be trickier to learn and she is so proud at how well he is doing and applauded him for it. I asked him how that made him feel, because he should be proud of himself, and he told me he was proud but he was worried how it made the kids in his class feel. That is just Hunter. He also told me his 1st grade teacher left a note on his desk this morning, telling him how proud she is of him, and to keep up the good work...so cool, so encouraging.
I volunteer on Thursdays, in both classes, and when I was ready to head home, I ran into the cafeteria to say goodbye to the kids and found them, both of them, eating lunch with the principal, among other award recipients.
(I think Hunter would love to read any comments you may have for him in the "comment" section...thanks! :) )
Hunter, this is for you...I am so super proud of you and to be called your mom is a honor and a blessing. You are a wonderful person and son, and I pray you stay as loving, sweet and caring as you are today, and that you always stay close in your relationship with Jesus. Continue to work hard in school, do your very best, be kind to friends and classmates,be humble, and respect your teachers and elders and remember... no matter what you do,in all you do,do it for the glory of God and let your daily life, whether in school, sports, home, friendships... be an act of worship. He will shine through you, and you will bless those around you!
Love you... far beyond the stars....Mommy.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Getting back to life...
Last week we took the week off, which was a break well needed for Hudson as well as myself. I rarely cancel his therapies, so not running last week was huge in recovering from the flu.
Now we are back to "normal"...Hudson's normal...which means we went to P.T. yesterday, Oral therapist was at the house as well, today we go to Children's for a clinic visit with dermatology, get the 2nd seasonal flu vaccine, and pick up prescriptions. Wednesday- O.T. at the house, Thursday- O.T. at the house, Friday -Oral Therapy at the house, swimming at the YMCA. Yes, this is our normal...besides keeping up with Hunter and Hailey's schedules and homework, and having Paul out of town all week...this is us back to our typical week. I hope I don't sound like I am complaining, cuz I'm not...I am grateful to all of the therapists that truly care for Hudson and our family. I have had several call me to see how were recovering, and one special O.T. offering to shop for me, bring dinner, or clean my house! In never took her up on it...because I never want to put anyone out of there way, or admit I may need help...but the offer was sincere, I know that had I accepted, she would have been here. God has blessed us with more than just therapists, and Hudson, I believe, has blessed them as well!
Hudson is doing well...he is still coughing, as he was before the H1N1, I have stopped counting the weeks though...I think he has had this cough for 8 weeks? Poor kid has the thickest mucous draining out of his mouth at times...I seriously can't believe he is not gagging and vomiting on this. With his pukey-history, I am stumped that he has not been throwing up...for months now! OK, I won't press my luck...but nice to have one less thing to deal with!
I want to mention the tamiflu...when we were given the script, I was told there was little known about side effects becasue it has just recently, with H1N1, been used. We were told of one, which was hallucinations. Didn't think much of it, in fact, I will admit I was thinking....if Hudson did hallucinate, would that be so bad? It's not like his reality is that great, right? Well, once we were home from the hospital, I noticed he would wake up screaming, not in a hurt way, more of a "dream state" or maybe a hallucination? Well, I am thinking so, and apparently it wasn't too fun, because it happened every night until he was off the tamiflu, and then it stopped...just like that! So, if any of you have to give tamiflu to your kids, just a heads up on the possible reaction!
As per our plan with Dr. S, I took Hudson off the Leucovorin. This is a med to treat behavioral issues associated with seizures, and Hudson was put on it when he was having unconsolable crying jaggs that made me feel helpless and wanting to rip my hair out...he would cry for hours, for no apparent reason, and nothing helped, and he would usually stop crying when a would have a huge cluster of seizures. I was told he could be taken off cold turkey, no weaning, and so I waited until we were compltetly over the flu. I am not sure if it was a coincidence, but he was off for only 2 days, which doesn't seems like enough time to really know, but for those 2 days he started crying jaggs in the evening, for no apparent reason. Not as severe as prior to geting on the med, but the 3rd day I started him back on the Leucovorin, and no inconsolable crying jaggs since! I was just hoping to get rid of one less med, but apparently he may need this one!
Seizures are still going strong...as seen in the last post...about 3-5 a day...sometimes he has what looks like the start of a tonic, but ends up looking like a startle (never holding him tight) but he just cries when this happens, as if he gets scared and is aware of what was about to happen. Poor kid, sometimes I think I could cope better if I didn't have to see him seize every day, it crushes so much hope, it robs us of our son, who is jailed by these beasts...why does any child have to endure seizures...just not right.
That's it for now...
Now we are back to "normal"...Hudson's normal...which means we went to P.T. yesterday, Oral therapist was at the house as well, today we go to Children's for a clinic visit with dermatology, get the 2nd seasonal flu vaccine, and pick up prescriptions. Wednesday- O.T. at the house, Thursday- O.T. at the house, Friday -Oral Therapy at the house, swimming at the YMCA. Yes, this is our normal...besides keeping up with Hunter and Hailey's schedules and homework, and having Paul out of town all week...this is us back to our typical week. I hope I don't sound like I am complaining, cuz I'm not...I am grateful to all of the therapists that truly care for Hudson and our family. I have had several call me to see how were recovering, and one special O.T. offering to shop for me, bring dinner, or clean my house! In never took her up on it...because I never want to put anyone out of there way, or admit I may need help...but the offer was sincere, I know that had I accepted, she would have been here. God has blessed us with more than just therapists, and Hudson, I believe, has blessed them as well!
Hudson is doing well...he is still coughing, as he was before the H1N1, I have stopped counting the weeks though...I think he has had this cough for 8 weeks? Poor kid has the thickest mucous draining out of his mouth at times...I seriously can't believe he is not gagging and vomiting on this. With his pukey-history, I am stumped that he has not been throwing up...for months now! OK, I won't press my luck...but nice to have one less thing to deal with!
I want to mention the tamiflu...when we were given the script, I was told there was little known about side effects becasue it has just recently, with H1N1, been used. We were told of one, which was hallucinations. Didn't think much of it, in fact, I will admit I was thinking....if Hudson did hallucinate, would that be so bad? It's not like his reality is that great, right? Well, once we were home from the hospital, I noticed he would wake up screaming, not in a hurt way, more of a "dream state" or maybe a hallucination? Well, I am thinking so, and apparently it wasn't too fun, because it happened every night until he was off the tamiflu, and then it stopped...just like that! So, if any of you have to give tamiflu to your kids, just a heads up on the possible reaction!
As per our plan with Dr. S, I took Hudson off the Leucovorin. This is a med to treat behavioral issues associated with seizures, and Hudson was put on it when he was having unconsolable crying jaggs that made me feel helpless and wanting to rip my hair out...he would cry for hours, for no apparent reason, and nothing helped, and he would usually stop crying when a would have a huge cluster of seizures. I was told he could be taken off cold turkey, no weaning, and so I waited until we were compltetly over the flu. I am not sure if it was a coincidence, but he was off for only 2 days, which doesn't seems like enough time to really know, but for those 2 days he started crying jaggs in the evening, for no apparent reason. Not as severe as prior to geting on the med, but the 3rd day I started him back on the Leucovorin, and no inconsolable crying jaggs since! I was just hoping to get rid of one less med, but apparently he may need this one!
Seizures are still going strong...as seen in the last post...about 3-5 a day...sometimes he has what looks like the start of a tonic, but ends up looking like a startle (never holding him tight) but he just cries when this happens, as if he gets scared and is aware of what was about to happen. Poor kid, sometimes I think I could cope better if I didn't have to see him seize every day, it crushes so much hope, it robs us of our son, who is jailed by these beasts...why does any child have to endure seizures...just not right.
That's it for now...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
My thoughts on seizures...
Funny how thoughts race through my head....as I lay on my bed with Hudson, due to a splitting headache, I thought about how nice it was to not see a seizure this morning....then I thought, as the ibuprofen kicked in, to take him downstairs and try feeding him, as it has been a week since he has eaten orally. He was eating the applesauce great, as if he was happy that I finally gave him something orally...then I thought the applesauce might induce a seizure, because sometimes food does that, as it is a metabolic disease, and I thought to listen to the voice that was telling me to go grab the video camera....and so I ran out to my car, because I had used it yesterday for a happier moment, when Hunter's 2nd grade class sang and did bible versus during their school Veterans Chapel. As I spooned another mouthful for Hudson, I grabbed my digital camera.. ready to take a picture...because Hudson seemed so happy to be eating, and in that same moment I thought I should turn on my video camera and have it ready, guess what....... it happened...Hudson was struck...I missed the first few seconds...but caught part of it.
You will probably notice how "junky" he sounds....part of this rattling is due to the cough and flu, and then typically after a seizure it gets worse. Not sure if you can tell, but when the seizure grips him, it seems like he is holding his breath, but the interesting part is that when he was hooked up in the hospital and would have them I would watch his O2 levels and they never went down...I thought that was strange.
Part of keeping Hudson on the nuero's radar, will be if I can get a good video, and email it to him, just to keep it fresh in his mind this battle we face daily, what I see, and any thoughts he may have. I have never emailed him video, but since we don't see him as often, since he got off the study drug Ganaxolone, I figure it is just another attempt to have him be "seen" without an appointment! I have brought video to our appointments and he has always appreciated it and watched thoroughly.
Not sure if this is really *good* enough...I want him to see from beginning to end, but it is so hard to capture and not something I want to wait and hope for.....but today I just got the gut feeling, so maybe I will use it.
BTW............I HATE seizures....just in case you didn't know!
Monday, November 9, 2009
A New Week...
It is bound to be better than the last...for sure. I think I am finally on the mend, but from what I hear you can *think* you are feeling better, then get slammed with recurring illness...this flu is tough. Hudson and I were literally in bed Friday thru Sunday, he was the cutest little guy to be sick with though. I got to make up for lots of snuggle time I typically miss out on because of life's demands...too bad it takes swine flu to make up for it!
Since we have been home he has been sleeping way more than usual, but now that I have gotten it I can see why. Today being my first day out of bed, I spent ALL day cleaning house and I know this is gross, but my clothes were completely damp in sweat, just from walking up and down the stairs, doing laundry, vacuuming, just cleaning! I have had no appetite...haven't been eating except to force myself so I am not weaker...I literally did not eat all day until right before I picked the kids up. My friends husband made me some soup and she brought it over and I had a half cup and I couldn't eat anymore...this flu is awful. But I do feel better, and I hope it continues that way.
Having experienced it, I honestly am amazed at Hudson's strength. It has given me time to reflect over some of the moments in the hospital, some of the things that were said to me when Hudson was first looked at in the E.R., by nurses and doctors...in the moment I feel like I blocked things out, but I find myself asking my mom if they really said certain things...like....I was told that there was a good chance Hudson would have to go into ICU and be put on a ventilator, but to everyone's amazement all his labs were coming back great...I was told that getting on Tamilflu would likely cause a whole new set of symptoms such as vomiting or severe diarrhea...it never happened...and realistically, being there for 3 days was really not that long considering this flu was deemed life threatening for Hudson.... all of this and I realize it was only by the massive amounts of prayers that were being said for Hudson, that he was delivered through this with such ease...and he defied the odds, and I only have God to thank and give all the praise to, it could have and should have been so much worse.
Today is the first day he has had no pain relievers, and no tamiflu. It is also the first day he has been able to stay awake for hours at a time. He woke early and then fell asleep after taking the kids to school and slept until about 1, but he has been awake since 1 and still is...wide eyed in his crib after melatonin, seizure drugs, and twice now I have turned the mobile on....but it is good to see him like this...a sign he is gaining strength...I just need him to get back on his regular schedule. I have noticed his voice is very horsey, but I think it has to do with one of the nurses deep suctioning him every 2 hours her entire shift...7 p.m-7a.m. She was one I didn't care for...especially now that she has caused so much irritation!
Being in the hospital environment is so wearing...the few times I left the room, I would observe my surroundings... to see children,really sick children, all around, many fighting for their life...it is sobering...they are so brave...one morning getting coffee, there was a darling little girl, maybe 4 years old, with her mom....her mom pushed her IV pole, her daughter...bald, with a few sparse hairs sticking up, skin tone yellowish...and a bright pink crown sat above her eyelash-bare eyes...I couldn't help but ache for that mom and her daughter...yet, in so many ways she was just a girl, in a coffee shop, with her mom...I happened to get in the elevator with them, and her strength and beauty awed me, and in that moment I said a prayer in my head, that God would deliver her from the cancer. I had another moment, when I saw a early teenage boy, in a wheel chair...bald, ashen in complexion, with a sick, sad, defeated look in his eye...he looked like he was probably at the point in treatment where it was just too hard, and he was clearly feeling it...and in that moment I prayed for him, the best I can do for him. These kids stick out in my mind because they are the obvious...you know their battle...you know cancer in some form is the monster they are battling...but it is heartbreaking when you are at a *children's* hospital and you see the faces of so many seriously ill children...it is humbling...it makes me grateful that I have 2 healthy kids, and I appreciate Hudson so much and admire his strength as he continues his own personal battle. I know he was put on many prayer chains, and we had the prayers of many silent strangers, as Hudson danced around in there heads just as these kids I encountered did in mine.
A new week...brings a week of NO therapies, I canceled them all...to give us both a break and to be sure to get no one sick. This flu is crazy contagious....out of 8 kids at my house for halloween (that includes my 3) 6 got the flu! Out of 9 adults...4 got it! One thing to know...once you get it, child or adult, you don't have to get the vaccine (that is if it ever becomes available) because you should have immunity...so I just need to cover us now for the regular flu vaccine...which I will tackle asap! OK, no more swine flu talk...I am done, Hudson is done...on to better things!!!!!!!
Since we have been home he has been sleeping way more than usual, but now that I have gotten it I can see why. Today being my first day out of bed, I spent ALL day cleaning house and I know this is gross, but my clothes were completely damp in sweat, just from walking up and down the stairs, doing laundry, vacuuming, just cleaning! I have had no appetite...haven't been eating except to force myself so I am not weaker...I literally did not eat all day until right before I picked the kids up. My friends husband made me some soup and she brought it over and I had a half cup and I couldn't eat anymore...this flu is awful. But I do feel better, and I hope it continues that way.
Having experienced it, I honestly am amazed at Hudson's strength. It has given me time to reflect over some of the moments in the hospital, some of the things that were said to me when Hudson was first looked at in the E.R., by nurses and doctors...in the moment I feel like I blocked things out, but I find myself asking my mom if they really said certain things...like....I was told that there was a good chance Hudson would have to go into ICU and be put on a ventilator, but to everyone's amazement all his labs were coming back great...I was told that getting on Tamilflu would likely cause a whole new set of symptoms such as vomiting or severe diarrhea...it never happened...and realistically, being there for 3 days was really not that long considering this flu was deemed life threatening for Hudson.... all of this and I realize it was only by the massive amounts of prayers that were being said for Hudson, that he was delivered through this with such ease...and he defied the odds, and I only have God to thank and give all the praise to, it could have and should have been so much worse.
Today is the first day he has had no pain relievers, and no tamiflu. It is also the first day he has been able to stay awake for hours at a time. He woke early and then fell asleep after taking the kids to school and slept until about 1, but he has been awake since 1 and still is...wide eyed in his crib after melatonin, seizure drugs, and twice now I have turned the mobile on....but it is good to see him like this...a sign he is gaining strength...I just need him to get back on his regular schedule. I have noticed his voice is very horsey, but I think it has to do with one of the nurses deep suctioning him every 2 hours her entire shift...7 p.m-7a.m. She was one I didn't care for...especially now that she has caused so much irritation!
Being in the hospital environment is so wearing...the few times I left the room, I would observe my surroundings... to see children,really sick children, all around, many fighting for their life...it is sobering...they are so brave...one morning getting coffee, there was a darling little girl, maybe 4 years old, with her mom....her mom pushed her IV pole, her daughter...bald, with a few sparse hairs sticking up, skin tone yellowish...and a bright pink crown sat above her eyelash-bare eyes...I couldn't help but ache for that mom and her daughter...yet, in so many ways she was just a girl, in a coffee shop, with her mom...I happened to get in the elevator with them, and her strength and beauty awed me, and in that moment I said a prayer in my head, that God would deliver her from the cancer. I had another moment, when I saw a early teenage boy, in a wheel chair...bald, ashen in complexion, with a sick, sad, defeated look in his eye...he looked like he was probably at the point in treatment where it was just too hard, and he was clearly feeling it...and in that moment I prayed for him, the best I can do for him. These kids stick out in my mind because they are the obvious...you know their battle...you know cancer in some form is the monster they are battling...but it is heartbreaking when you are at a *children's* hospital and you see the faces of so many seriously ill children...it is humbling...it makes me grateful that I have 2 healthy kids, and I appreciate Hudson so much and admire his strength as he continues his own personal battle. I know he was put on many prayer chains, and we had the prayers of many silent strangers, as Hudson danced around in there heads just as these kids I encountered did in mine.
A new week...brings a week of NO therapies, I canceled them all...to give us both a break and to be sure to get no one sick. This flu is crazy contagious....out of 8 kids at my house for halloween (that includes my 3) 6 got the flu! Out of 9 adults...4 got it! One thing to know...once you get it, child or adult, you don't have to get the vaccine (that is if it ever becomes available) because you should have immunity...so I just need to cover us now for the regular flu vaccine...which I will tackle asap! OK, no more swine flu talk...I am done, Hudson is done...on to better things!!!!!!!
Friday, November 6, 2009
We made it home...
we got out of the hospital much later than I had hoped, doesn't it always go that way?
It was the meds that we had to wait for. We were in the car by 6:30, and the drive home was tricky....the rain was pounding so hard I could barely see, the roads were flooding and the wind was wicked! As I was driving I could literally feel my body unraveling...from the stress and the worry over the last 3 days. I got home and of course the greeting committee was at the door as I was pulling in the garage. The kids were so happy to see Hudson home...Hailey was really worried he wasn't coming home, and Hunter told me they have been praying for him every day at school and at night before bed. My wonderful friend, Val, had dropped off dinner for us, so I had something warm to eat...I have been living on rice cakes and flips crackers, I didn't ever eat the cafeteria food, so a hot meal tasted great.
For those of you with fragile kids, I want to pass along a few things I learned regarding my child and the H1N1....
*Our nuero wrote up and sent me a copy of a 2 page instruction sheet for E.R. nurses and docs on how to treat Hudson and what he can and can't have if he was being seen in an emergency sitaution. I strongly urge any of you to ask your docs for something like this and make copies and give it to all care takers, put it in your diaper bag, car, etc. We actually recieved this in the mail last week...what timing! This was instrumental...I had no idea they would give him insulin, and there were other specific as to exactly what he needed in the I.V. drip.
* I learned that I will not wait to take him to the ped's office, that if I ever see Hudson deteriorate like that the E.R. should get a phone call that we are bringing him in and we will take that direct route.
* I learned that Hudson should have gotten his I.V. drip first thing in the E.R.( per Dr. S instructions) which they didn't do, as he did not get hooked up until after we were admitted and in our room which was 2 a.m. That mistake could have taken him!
* I learned to check and re-check ALL meds brought into his room.
It has all been a learning experience for me.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
homeward bound!
We get to go home tonight! Hudson never had to be put back on the I.V. drip. The Ibuprofen and Tylenol seemed to do the trick through the night. Today he had a dose of ibuprofen at 9 a.m. and hasn't had a fever all day. Although, yesterday's fever didn't start until 6ish, but I am just going to be diligent about alternating both pain relievers. The indicator for me today that made me feel comfortable leaving tonight was that he didn't sleep all day like yesterday. He was actually awake for much of the day. We even got to play on a floor mat, and I gave hime nice warm bubble bath too. He has been wide eyed and looking around and moving around too. Another awesome highlight today....I have not seen any tonic seizures....always a treat to get a break, even if it just for most of the day! He still has his cough but we have been doing lots of deep suctioning over the last couple days so he sounds better.
I am coming down with something...sneezing, scratchy throat and cough, chills...hopefully just a cold! Anyways the best place to recover at this point is at home and God forbid Hudsons fever can't be control they told me to come right back through the E.R.
We can use prayers that a return is not in our future and that he slowly recovers and gains his strength.
Can't thank all of you enough who cared to keep up with us and pray as we have endured a very difficult couple of days. A part of me is relieved that we have gone through this and he survived without any major complications...reminds me Gods plans are so much bigger for him than I can ever imagine, and I am so grateful!
I am coming down with something...sneezing, scratchy throat and cough, chills...hopefully just a cold! Anyways the best place to recover at this point is at home and God forbid Hudsons fever can't be control they told me to come right back through the E.R.
We can use prayers that a return is not in our future and that he slowly recovers and gains his strength.
Can't thank all of you enough who cared to keep up with us and pray as we have endured a very difficult couple of days. A part of me is relieved that we have gone through this and he survived without any major complications...reminds me Gods plans are so much bigger for him than I can ever imagine, and I am so grateful!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"we are on a short leash"
Those were the words tonight from the resident doc. Hudson has a fever again. It started at 99.5 and within 40 min. was at 101.5 He felt hotter that that to me, I was holding him. The "look" became all too familiar....labored breathing, restlessness, heavy, glassy eyes. The fever simply begins his downward spiral and he spirals fast! He had 2 tonic seizures within one hour and that was with the rising fever.
Motrin has brought it down but we have decided to piggy back motrin and tylenol every 2 hours tonight. If this does not keep him looking like he did this afternoon we will have no choice but too put him back on the I.V drip. Good news is he has so far kept his bolus feeds down.
Even in one of the best facilities in the country, I have learned to be such an advocate for my child. A year ago I would never have spoken up, and direct the care of my son, I have truly become the greatest "uneducated" nurse when it comes to the healthcare of my child. I check all meds they bring in his room...they have mis-dosed his Zonisamide, and twice now his depakote. I wrote out the schedule of when I feed and which meds he gets with which feed. They have missed meds, and I find myself reminding nurses, asking where they are. It is a full time job, but critical in getting my boy through this. Part of the control freak in me has not allowed anyone, that being Paul, to stay overnight with him, as he insisted I go home tonight and get some sleep, but I just feel this is all so critical, which it is, and I am his main care taker...I can't allow mistakes to happen, and I am willing to run on only 3 hours of sleep for as many nights as it takes to see him through.
That is not to say....I feel like a zombie...the living dead....haven't showered...hair is greasy...deoderant is my friend cuz I have one sweatshirt and sweats to sleep in and one shirt and pants for day. I look the part... like a mom whose critically ill son has swine flu.
I planned to shower tonight...haven't got the energy...will wait for tomorrow morning... to get glam and actually put makeup on, and feel human. Hope that does the trick because I have a "tickle" and find myself coughing. and I have been chilled all day, and dream about sitting in a hot bubble bath...I am just hoping these are just symptoms of lack of sleep.
As always, thanks for keeping us in prayer, as we go through the night.
Motrin has brought it down but we have decided to piggy back motrin and tylenol every 2 hours tonight. If this does not keep him looking like he did this afternoon we will have no choice but too put him back on the I.V drip. Good news is he has so far kept his bolus feeds down.
Even in one of the best facilities in the country, I have learned to be such an advocate for my child. A year ago I would never have spoken up, and direct the care of my son, I have truly become the greatest "uneducated" nurse when it comes to the healthcare of my child. I check all meds they bring in his room...they have mis-dosed his Zonisamide, and twice now his depakote. I wrote out the schedule of when I feed and which meds he gets with which feed. They have missed meds, and I find myself reminding nurses, asking where they are. It is a full time job, but critical in getting my boy through this. Part of the control freak in me has not allowed anyone, that being Paul, to stay overnight with him, as he insisted I go home tonight and get some sleep, but I just feel this is all so critical, which it is, and I am his main care taker...I can't allow mistakes to happen, and I am willing to run on only 3 hours of sleep for as many nights as it takes to see him through.
That is not to say....I feel like a zombie...the living dead....haven't showered...hair is greasy...deoderant is my friend cuz I have one sweatshirt and sweats to sleep in and one shirt and pants for day. I look the part... like a mom whose critically ill son has swine flu.
I planned to shower tonight...haven't got the energy...will wait for tomorrow morning... to get glam and actually put makeup on, and feel human. Hope that does the trick because I have a "tickle" and find myself coughing. and I have been chilled all day, and dream about sitting in a hot bubble bath...I am just hoping these are just symptoms of lack of sleep.
As always, thanks for keeping us in prayer, as we go through the night.
Our amazing soldier
Hudson is stable, praise God for that!
By 3 a.m. he got his seizure meds, and the I.V. fluids seem to help him. After posting last night when I got back in the room he looked like he was going down hill... again...quick, between the fluids and more ibuprofen he started sleeping more comfortably. The bad part is he has been having to get poked to check blood sugar, every 2 hours. His poor fingers look so pitiful covered in bandaids and dried blood. Today's nurse has been going for his toes, but just a bit ago we got the o.k. to take him off the I.V and actualy start administering his regular bolus feeds.This means no more blood pokes every 2 hours-yeah!
He is still very congested and coughing and the lungs don't sound clear, but they are really monitiring his breathing still. Right now it would be nice to see him tolerate his feeds, I am sure that will be instrumental in a quicker discharge, although they have talked nothing about letting him go.He has been sleeping all morning, very sound asleep. He did have a tonic seizure once he woke this afternoon, follwed by the "shakes" as if he had the chills. He looks very pale and frail, but it was nice to see his eyes open, even though it was only a short time. He has had no fever today.
Paul got Hunter to school this morning, another praise....he is the only one still healthy. Hailey is at her Nanna's (my mom's) but my mom is sick with a bad cold. Paul said Hailey had a fever through the night and this morning. When I talked to her she sounded good and she told me she ate pancakes! She must be feeling a little better. :) I guess HR kicked Paul out of the office so he is here with me and Hudson working out of our room. They told him to take the rest of the week off, which will be a huge help. (although Paul won't he will just work out of the home I am sure...workaholic)
Hudson has amazed us all, he is a strong boy and I know the Lord is filling him with the fight, and the strength to endure and defeat all odds. As parents we are in awe of him and his strength. We also know this fight wouldn't be acheivable with out God walking us through this battle....I have always felt Hudson was one of Gods mighty, littlest soldiers.
Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers...I know God hears every one of them and is working all of this for good and to His glory. We are filled with much hope that we will bring Hudson home, at some point, and he will be o.k. He is not completely out of the woods, mito can change his circumstances at any given moment, but we are so hopeful that our soldier will continue the fight.
If anything changes I will post....keep the prayers coming!
By 3 a.m. he got his seizure meds, and the I.V. fluids seem to help him. After posting last night when I got back in the room he looked like he was going down hill... again...quick, between the fluids and more ibuprofen he started sleeping more comfortably. The bad part is he has been having to get poked to check blood sugar, every 2 hours. His poor fingers look so pitiful covered in bandaids and dried blood. Today's nurse has been going for his toes, but just a bit ago we got the o.k. to take him off the I.V and actualy start administering his regular bolus feeds.This means no more blood pokes every 2 hours-yeah!
He is still very congested and coughing and the lungs don't sound clear, but they are really monitiring his breathing still. Right now it would be nice to see him tolerate his feeds, I am sure that will be instrumental in a quicker discharge, although they have talked nothing about letting him go.He has been sleeping all morning, very sound asleep. He did have a tonic seizure once he woke this afternoon, follwed by the "shakes" as if he had the chills. He looks very pale and frail, but it was nice to see his eyes open, even though it was only a short time. He has had no fever today.
Paul got Hunter to school this morning, another praise....he is the only one still healthy. Hailey is at her Nanna's (my mom's) but my mom is sick with a bad cold. Paul said Hailey had a fever through the night and this morning. When I talked to her she sounded good and she told me she ate pancakes! She must be feeling a little better. :) I guess HR kicked Paul out of the office so he is here with me and Hudson working out of our room. They told him to take the rest of the week off, which will be a huge help. (although Paul won't he will just work out of the home I am sure...workaholic)
Hudson has amazed us all, he is a strong boy and I know the Lord is filling him with the fight, and the strength to endure and defeat all odds. As parents we are in awe of him and his strength. We also know this fight wouldn't be acheivable with out God walking us through this battle....I have always felt Hudson was one of Gods mighty, littlest soldiers.
Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers...I know God hears every one of them and is working all of this for good and to His glory. We are filled with much hope that we will bring Hudson home, at some point, and he will be o.k. He is not completely out of the woods, mito can change his circumstances at any given moment, but we are so hopeful that our soldier will continue the fight.
If anything changes I will post....keep the prayers coming!
I didn't want to be here, doing this....
It is 1:15 a.m. and I am writing this from Seattle Children's. At 4:40 p.m. I took all three kids to their PCP, although the appointment was only for Hudson and Hailey.
Hudson very quickly was deteriotaing this afternoon even though I wasn't seeing a huge spike in temp...he fell in and out of sleep all day and not moving much. The pediatrician took one look after getting his info and history and was either calling the medics to take him by ambulance to our local children's hospital or would allow me to drive him to Seattle Children's as long as his O2 levels were at 98 or above. I sat there praying that I would be able to transfer and that is exactly what I did. The Pediatrician did the nasal swab on both kids and Hudson came back positive and Hailey negative. Paul is at home with both kids and I am at the hospital. We made it here at 7, and Hudson looked frightengly horrible, his breathing has been labored all day and he seems to be working so hard to breathe. Hudson took priority in the E.R. and they got him in a room as soon as we got there. His temp was 103. By 10:30 we were admitted into the hospital and got a room. He has had blood work to check oxidation and how well his body is absorbing oxygen, it came back good. He had urine and blood drawn and so far it has all come back good. He had a chest xray showing he has viral pneumonia associated with the flu, not bacterial...that's good. We will get confirmed results tomorrow on the actual cells in the nasal cavity to confirm N1H1. He is very, very lethargic, glassy eyed, gurgly, and his seizures have been odd. His poor feet and hands are icy cold and his body burning hot. They have finally started I.V. fluids and he just now got the tamiflu and his regular seizure drugs. I hate the pace of the hospital, any hospital...my kids is burning up and when I left to get a snack cuz I have eaten nothing all day, and do this post we were still waiting for the Motrin and Tylenol...ggrrrr! I wish I had some in my purse, to speed up the process!
I won't be able to answer personal emails at this time, so please, any of you that want specifics, when I update tomorrow I will check the comments section for any questions and answer them there. Hope that is o.k. as it will save me time!
Need to go be with him now...prayers are everything to us right now...Hailey had a 100.1 fever along with Hudson at the PCP. I am worried about her too, but she is in Daddy's care...our whole family needs lots of prayers right now...this is killing me to see my baby like this....I wish I could trade places with him....relying on prayers.....
Hudson very quickly was deteriotaing this afternoon even though I wasn't seeing a huge spike in temp...he fell in and out of sleep all day and not moving much. The pediatrician took one look after getting his info and history and was either calling the medics to take him by ambulance to our local children's hospital or would allow me to drive him to Seattle Children's as long as his O2 levels were at 98 or above. I sat there praying that I would be able to transfer and that is exactly what I did. The Pediatrician did the nasal swab on both kids and Hudson came back positive and Hailey negative. Paul is at home with both kids and I am at the hospital. We made it here at 7, and Hudson looked frightengly horrible, his breathing has been labored all day and he seems to be working so hard to breathe. Hudson took priority in the E.R. and they got him in a room as soon as we got there. His temp was 103. By 10:30 we were admitted into the hospital and got a room. He has had blood work to check oxidation and how well his body is absorbing oxygen, it came back good. He had urine and blood drawn and so far it has all come back good. He had a chest xray showing he has viral pneumonia associated with the flu, not bacterial...that's good. We will get confirmed results tomorrow on the actual cells in the nasal cavity to confirm N1H1. He is very, very lethargic, glassy eyed, gurgly, and his seizures have been odd. His poor feet and hands are icy cold and his body burning hot. They have finally started I.V. fluids and he just now got the tamiflu and his regular seizure drugs. I hate the pace of the hospital, any hospital...my kids is burning up and when I left to get a snack cuz I have eaten nothing all day, and do this post we were still waiting for the Motrin and Tylenol...ggrrrr! I wish I had some in my purse, to speed up the process!
I won't be able to answer personal emails at this time, so please, any of you that want specifics, when I update tomorrow I will check the comments section for any questions and answer them there. Hope that is o.k. as it will save me time!
Need to go be with him now...prayers are everything to us right now...Hailey had a 100.1 fever along with Hudson at the PCP. I am worried about her too, but she is in Daddy's care...our whole family needs lots of prayers right now...this is killing me to see my baby like this....I wish I could trade places with him....relying on prayers.....
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
wait and see...because we are not out of the woods!
Last night Hailey started coughing, Hunter claimed he had swine flu (my hypochondriac) and Hudson just kept coughing as he has the past 5 weeks now. Paul and I were able to go out for our anniversary and I got a gorgeous bouquet of red roses delivered yesterday. So we had a couple hours to ourselves only to come home to 3 kids in bed with us asleep at 8:30...which is a bit early for them to fall asleep.
I kind of felt hyper-sensitive all night, thinking and dreaming flu,(got an email from another friend who joined us for Halloween, and her son was spiking a fever last night) so when I heard Hudson coughing all night, not knowing if it was a dream or reality, I opened my eyes and realized it was 3 a.m. and he was having a hard time. I got up and bless his soul....he is lying there, scootched way down in his crib, off the pillow that was propping his head up, with eyes closed...hacking away. I rolled him on his side because he sounded really gurgly, and thought it would help drain the mucous and maybe stop the tickle...guessing of course that it is a tickle. Sound asleep he remained. I noticed a scent...checked his diaper...it was loaded! Although he was sound asleep I could not let him sleep in poop, so I rolled him onto his back and went at it....he of course woke up and started crying, and coughing worse. When I took his p.j. bottoms off his legs were very warm and I noticed he had bright red cheeks and he was sweaty...I choked on a big lump in my throat. I took his temp and it was 100.00 I gave him motrin, suctioned him out, put his mobile on, and rolled him back on his side. I crawled back in to bed and got teary eyed thinking and praying what this could mean for Hudson.....
You see, Hudson is truly an angel. He is not demanding at all, he sleeps like a dream, he really only cries if he is gassy or overtired, he goes through so much every day, and yet he is the sweetest, most darling little soldier-boy who loves to be loved and snuggled and talked to. I don't want to think of the posibilty that he may yet have to endure more, on top of everything else. I am trying to stay calm, but this beautiful boy tugs on my heart string every time I look into his big brown eyes, I can't stand the suffering.
He woke up crying this morning....coughing.....I took him out of the crib and he had dried mucous all over his cheek and a crusty nose. No fever! I washed him up with a warm cloth and sat him on the floor to suction the gurgles and as I was suctioning him his eyes were shutting...he was falling asleep. Back in his crib he went, lying on his side...I have been checking on him, he is still sleeping. I haven't even fed him, because I know it will wake him up and I think he needs as much rest as he can get right now.
After taking care of Hudson....I walked into Hunter and Hailey's room to get them ready for school. Hunter would not get out of bed. Says he is sick. He seriously is a hypochondriac...it is really bad. Then there is Hailey...pops out of bed, gets dressed, goes in the bathroom and as I am doing her hair I notice her eyes look a little funny to me. She says she feels like she is going to throw up, she doesn't want to brush her teeth. I take her temp....99.8. Back in her jammies she went. Hunter still claims he is too weak to go to school. I take his temp. 97.4....So I got him to school.
I took Hailey's temp again when we got home and it was 98.6, but she insisted on needing Motrin (she likes the taste!) So far she is doing fine (fingers crossed)
I know how quickly this flu can come on, so I am on pins and needles, praying somehow it does not manifest.
If anything changes I will update....I just really need prayers for my angel and his brother and sis....thanks to everyone who reads and cares so much...it means the world!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Exposure
We know for sure all 3 of our kids have been exposed to the H1N1. One of the kids from our Halloween Party came down with symptoms yesterday and it was confirmed this afternoon. Believe it or not, this child had the nasal mist 2 weeks ago and still got it! Prayers are appreciated that she will be feeling better soon.
Please say an extra prayer for Hudson, that somehow God will protect him and our other 2, the next 24 hours we should know if they ( or Paul and I) have it. Blaming myself if any of them get it.
Off to sanitize.....
Please say an extra prayer for Hudson, that somehow God will protect him and our other 2, the next 24 hours we should know if they ( or Paul and I) have it. Blaming myself if any of them get it.
Off to sanitize.....
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Our Halloween Continued...
We decided to not take Hudson downtown....weather wise he would have been fine, as you can see it was a beautiful fall day, I just have really been avoiding taking him into crowds and public places. Paul stayed home with him and I took Hunter and Hailey. It sucks...to always have to do things seperate, not as our whole family, it seems we are always having to do things like this often. Hunter and Hailey have gotten really good about understanding why we can't be together as a family at times and now especially with the H1N1, they are very protective with Hudson. So for my own selfish reasons it stinks, but for Hudson it is what is best. In a way it makes it easier that he really doesn't know he is missing out on anything, on the flip side I wish he knew he was missing out! I overheard Hailey ask one of the kids at our party if they washed their hands...."We are washing our hands as soon as we come into the house, we are trying to keep him healthy," she says....such a mommy she is!
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Hudson Tyler
Our sweet angel!