I don't know that my brain will ever fully wrap around recently reuniting with our friends who son had mito and was named Hudson Tyler. (see recent post "Gods Perfect Timing")
It still gives me goose bumps...after several emails Wendy and I finally were able to speak on the phone. As we spoke we realized not only did our boys have the same disease, same first and middle name....we also use the same nicknames, and we realized the boys have so many similar characteristics in very specific areas.....like both boys prefer their right side and lean their head and body to the right,both boys are "mushy" piles of love....unable to hold their bodies up, both boys have similar patterns of seizures and consequently vomiting.....
We talked about the meds, the diet, the struggles, the heartache, the joys, the sorrows.....
We shared stories....We cried....we laughed.....
We have literally walked in each others shoes....and although we are in a different place on the path, I truly know she knows what my every day is...our stories of life with our Hudson's are eerily similar.
The one thing I admire so much about these friends of ours, is their ability to make the best out of any situation....the ability to laugh in the midst of the craziness of having a sick child. When they were living here, we always had a good time and laughed... a lot!!!
In talking to Wendy, I realize none of that changed through their journey....they didn't allow this awful disease to rob them of joy...it didn't rob them of being a family unit, it didn't steal their sense of humor, they found their new normal and did what they wanted, including Hudson...
I think that is key in having any type of sick or special needs kid. Life goes
on, you don't worry what others around you think, you carry on...you learn to live...and DO with your special circumstances without apology.
With permission, I am sharing an example of how this wonderful family did just that WITH their Hudson and WITH their humor. A great lesson of love and just how they embraced their special circumstances.
The following is a Father's Eulogy to his son;
"I had never given much thought to writing and delivering a eulogy. When Reverend Lee mentioned it after Hudson passed away, I thought what better way to honor him then to share a story. As you look around at how crowded the chapel is, you will see those who were touched by Hudson’s life.
As I sat down to write this, thoughts of giving and receiving or having and sharing crossed my mind. Hudson did each of these in his own way. If any of you read the feature article in Tuesday’s edition of the Atlanta Journal Constitution, I said either you Do or you Don’t when people would say they don’t know how Wendy, Jackson and I handle Hudson’s disease and medical needs. As I told the reporter, it’s always been unequivocally DO for us.
I would like to share a story that definitely falls in the DO category. In 2008, Jackson wanted to go to Washington DC for our summer vacation. Hudson was 2 and a half at the time and recently diagnosed with Mitochondrial Disease. As you can imagine, there was a lot of planning to fly from here to there.
If you’ve ever been to DC, you know there’s a lot to see and we crammed in as much as we could in the 5 days we were there. Each place was a gamble as Hudson was very unpredictable with seizures which at the time caused him to vomit. To say he left his mark in DC would be an understatement. Yes, this is a story about vomit.
We went to Arlington National cemetery and visited the grave-site of JFK. As we approached the eternal flame, sure enough, Hudson caught us off guard, having a seizure causing him to throw up. Normally, we traveled with a “just in case” cup just in case Hudson threw up, but for some reason, we left the hotel without one. As we moved Hudson away from the eternal flame to a discreet area to clean him up, I quipped to Wendy “Hudson can’t stomach being so close to a democrat”. After that incident, we made sure we always had a cup.
A co-worker of mine arranged tours for us of the White House, the Pentagon, the US Capitol, Library of Congress and the National Archives. After the incident at Arlington, we were a bit nervous. Once again, Huddy didn’t let us down. As we were waiting to enter the National Archives, Hudson had a seizure and threw up. We were ready this time. 100% of it was successfully contained in a plastic Solo cup. Security at each of the national buildings was extremely tight with guards, metal detectors and x-ray machines. As we approached the entrance the officer asked me what was in the cup. I responded matter of factly, “it’s vomit”. He told me I couldn’t bring the cup in. I explained to him Hudson had seizures and sometimes this happened and since this was my only cup, the last thing I wanted was for him to throw up on a national document. The guard agreed with me and declined my offer to put the cup through the x-ray machine.
All in all, this was one of the best vacations we ever took. No matter what life has in store for us, we always have a choice…Do or Don’t. Hudson taught us you get more when you DO.
Sweet Hudson! You brought so much joy to our hearts!"